


These Kisses Taste Like Teen Angst All Over Again

by ephemeralstar



Category: Nothing Much to Do, Pacific Rim (2013)
Genre: Angst and Tragedy, F/F, Nothing Much is Straight, Pacific Rim AU, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Verges-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-27
Updated: 2014-12-27
Packaged: 2018-03-03 19:31:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2881877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ephemeralstar/pseuds/ephemeralstar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“That’s left, you moron.” She says, weakly, not sure if she’s talking to herself, the gaping hole to her right, or to her best friend and his killer. "It's meant to be right." She's doesn't think about her words, not now.</p>
            </blockquote>





	These Kisses Taste Like Teen Angst All Over Again

**Author's Note:**

> Possible prelude/deleted storyline for an AU I might write. Sorry I'm being vague.

There’s silence in her mind, where there was terror less than a minute ago. There’s a hole in the hull, mangled metal and claw marks against the floor. Righteous Indignation was breached and Verges’ mind was filled with white noise where Dogberry’s once was. She could feel the A.I. in the back of her head, urging her to move and overloading her in the same sentence. She was shaking all over, the metal vibrating with her, the left arm of the Jaegar still lodged in the Kaiju’s chest, both it and her best friend now sinking to a watery grave.

 

“Verges! Activate your escape pod! Its dead, we’re coming to get you.” Leo- Marshal Duke cried over the communicator. As though moving through honey, she pressed the button, felt it close around her, launching her to the safety of the ocean.

 

She spent an hour, sitting in her pod, legs crossed, looking at her hands. _Its dead. Its dead. Its dead. He’s dead. He’s dead._ Her mind is truly silent for the first time in years.

 

The helicopter ride is awful, full of apologies and pitying eyes. She feels as though she’s being smothered by their gazes, gasping for oxygen, and she finds herself hyperventilating on the floor of the helicopter, curled up in a ball, clutching her head, willing the phantom whisper in the back of her mind to be real.

 

Ursula’s the first one she calls when she gets back to the Shatterdome, after allowing herself to let go in her room, tearing down her photos and pictures, ripping up drawings and plans and print outs of simulation scores where she had doodled virtual Kaiju corpses along the sides.

 

“ _Ursula speaking_.” Ursula’s formal tone greeted Verges across the line. She freezes, waiting for her mouth to take over where her brain is failing, but she can’t. “ _Hello_?” Ursula spoke again, and Verges willed herself to talk, to make even a panicked squeal, but she can’t even manage that. “ _Hello?_ ” Its more annoyed and insistent than anything else, and Verges lets out a high pitched wail, bracing herself with her other hand against the wall. “ _If this is a joke, it isn’t funny._ ” Ursula huffed, and Verges manages to blurt one word.

 

“Dogberry.” His name spilling from her lips and she’s left looking up at the jaws of the Kaiju ( _Nimbus, they called it, like a dark cloud_ ) her best friend’s broken body hanging limp from between its lips.

 

“ _Verges? Is that you?_ ” Ursula asked,her tone much more concerned than it was. Verges feels herself tear up and she whimpers out an affirmative. “ _What happened? This isn’t like you? What about Dogberry?_ ” Ursula asked. Verges took a deep breath, closing her eyes and willing the tears not to spill out.

 

“He’s dead.” She paused, before adding, “And so’s the Kaiju, but that’s not the point,” and she never listens to what she says, until after she says it, “the point is-” and she froze again.

 

They spent hours on the phone, talking and crying until their throats were sore and Verges was smiling again. She couldn’t get over the loss in a night, she didn’t think she ever would, but Ursula knew how to make her smile. The conversation lulled and Verges was stuck between wanting to blurt out _‘Stop training! Never become a Ranger!’_ and _‘So how’s training going?’_ Ursula could sense her unease and began cautiously.

 

“ _America’s fun… Balth and I have been told that our Jaegar is almost ready for us.”_ She paused after that, allowing Verges to formulate a response. She breathed out, going with the later of her two options.

 

“Training’s going well?” She asked, and Ursula began again.

 

“ _Its great_ ,” and so began the tales of Ursula and Balthazar’s seamless teamwork, both in the Jaegar Academy and in the Kwoon Combat Room.

 

“That’s awesome.” Verges finished with, though her heart wasn’t in it. “I should go, someone to report to or somesuch.” _He’s dead. Who cares anymore?_ She’s not sure if she said it out loud, but she swore she could hear Dogberry’s voice like she used to, the faint whisper of him in the back of her head, even disconnected. She hangs up without saying goodbye, and feels her legs carry her to Leo’s office, mind preoccupied by the words inside her head.

 

She can’t hear his words or feel his hand on her shoulder. He held a phone out to her, and she reached for it, but once he let go, it fell to the carpet, bouncing uselessly. He picked it up, saying something to the person on the other end, but Verges didn’t hear it, she just looked at the phone, numbness spreading through her. Leo pressed the phone to her ear and she just frowned a little bit. _Why is he doing this?_ She thought to herself… but its not her voice in her head.

 

“ _Georgia, tell me he’s joking_!” The voice on the other end was distraught and Verges felt herself slamming back into reality, hard. Lightheaded and swaying on the spot, she felt her mouth go dry.

 

“Miss Locke.” She managed, her hands shaking and she took the phone and gripped it against her ear, her knuckles turning white.

 

“ _Please Georgia, tell me my baby’s not dead._ ” Verges could heard the telltale waiver of the woman’s voice, and knew she was crying. Verges could feel the tears on her cheeks before she realised she too had begun to cry.

 

“I’m sorry.” She whispered, and Dogberry’s mother began wailing. Verges thrust the phone into Leo’s hands and threw up in the bin beside his desk. She stayed hunched over the bin, tuning out Leo’s attempts at comfort, not looking up, not letting the light reflect off her tear tracks, until a new voice spoke.

 

“Go do something somewhere else. I can keep her company.” It was soft and gentle and Verges looked up in time to see Leo’s retreating back and a young woman smiling at her. She’s got a plate of cookies and a bottle of water. Huh. “I’m Hero.” Is all she said, and sat beside Verges. It takes Verges a good minute to figure out what to say, a way to introduce herself, perhaps tell this kind, nice-smelling girl to _‘leave please, I’m vomiting in the trash and my best friend is dead, I don’t want people looking at me.’_

 

Instead, she said, “What?” Hero smiled, sitting beside her, leaning against the desk and watching the wall, as if sensing the Ranger’s unease.

 

“Well, it’s Hero Duke. My name. I was born with it.” She grinned slightly and Verges managed a weak smile.

 

“They call me Verges.” She mumbled, taking the water and being eternally grateful that its there when it is. “Are you Leo’s daughter?” There was a moment and Hero grinned, as if wishing to laugh, but sensing its not the time or the place.

 

“Sister.” She corrected, before she looked at Verges. “I can leave if you want, I just thought Leo might not be the best company so you’re free.” Verges quickly munches down three cookies, marvelling at just how empty her stomach was, before shaking her head.

 

“He’s still there.” She sighed, mouth half full of food.

 

“Leo’s-” Hero began, her forehead creasing, but Verges shook her head. She tapped her temple, swallowing the cookies. _Chocolate chip, our favourite._

 

“Do-” She felt the bile rise in the back of her throat and took another gulp of water. She took a deep breath, closing her eyes. “Dogberry.” She said, her voice low and controlled. Hero’s eyes widened and Verges opened her own. “But also, sort of not, do you understand? Like a fountain limb.” She wiggled her fingers and watched them in the air. “I should probably to go to bed.” She mumbled, almost to herself. Then, there was a hand in her field of view that wasn’t her own, and Hero was holding her hand, helping her up.

 

They were quiet as they walked through the halls, the people who passed them nodding out of respect, but Verges couldn’t look at them, deciding to alternate her focus between Hero’s hand holding hers, and the floor. She considered, on reflection, that Hero knowing which room was hers should have been creepy, but also, she was Leo’s sister and Leo knew everything.

 

There was a moment of hesitation from Verges, but she smiled weakly and thanked Hero, expecting that to be the end of it.

 

_She’s nice_. It was his voice again, but she was too tired to care.

 

“I know.” Verges muttered, stripping off her uniform (ripped, bloody and generally gross; burn it) and curling up in bed.


End file.
